CaPtiVATeD

2007-12-07T12:52:00.000-08:00

I'm looking for a MIRACLE

Why?

because my heart hurts today.

a young lady,
she just reached her teens
was told today that this will be her last christmas,
that she will never again celebrate her birthday,
her love for volleyball and track must be something of the past,
that she must say goodbye to her family,
goodbye to her best friend,
goodbye to her life here on earth.
for it was today that angie was diagnosed with cancer that will take her life in 2 months
there will be no carefree tomorrows for angie, no more grade eight sleepovers with the girls, no more wednesday night youth events, no more bad hair days, and bed head mornings... for angie, there is no more.

Angie is the middle of five girls.
Angie is a track star.
Angie is someone's daughter
Angie is love by so many people.
Angie is a bright blonde girl full of passion
Angie is 13 years old.
Angie knows the love of God.
Angie is a daughter of the King

I don't understand why someone so precious and full of life and a bright future should be given such a disease that will inevitably take her life in a matter of months. Angie went into the doctor's on tuesday afternoon with stomach pains. Doctors sent her to the hospital for an ultrasound and found that her liver and her lungs are overtaken by cancer. a disease that reeks of death. Initial observations from many doctors have proven to be the worst nightmare every parent dreads. The cancer has spread too much, too fast and is only going to get worse. Surgery is optional but will not cure of fast this is spreading. Doctors say 2 months max. Angie says i want to live.

Life is too precious to let it slip by. Working with children and learning the many adventures that come with being a children's pastor, if i have failed to notice nothing else, at least i will come away this year with knowing one thing:
CHILDREN MATTER TO GOD!
which is why i can't just sit here and keep saying that angie's life is over.
My God is a God of Miracles... BIG MIRACLES. HUGE MIRACLES!! and at this christmas time how can i praise God for the MIRACLE of Jesus' birthday and yet not believe that he has the power to give Angie her very own miracle?? Of course God can heal her, this i have learned over and over. I know in my head God does miraculous things... it's in my heart that the hope for Angie's miracle seems dim.

Why?

Why is it easy to know but harder to believe in the power of God?

Reading in Luke 1-3 this morning God revealed to me the passionate and powerful belief that John the Baptist had in his cousin, Jesus Christ. Without a doubt in his mind John proclaimed his faith in Jesus, even before Jesus' ministry actually began:
"The main character in this drama, to whom i'm a mere stagehand, will ignite the kingdom of life, a fire, the Holy Spirit within you, changing you from the inside out."
To have faith like John, unshakable and absolute in saving power.... well, i think everyone needs a little faith like John on days like these.

As surely as we all breath, everyday is a chance to witness of the power of God if we have that believing faith in our heart. God's MIRACLES never stop, it's our belief that needs the repair every now and again.

keep watching with me and praying for Angie as we here at church await in expectation to see a MIRACLE of God!!

2007-11-27T21:39:00.001-08:00

I'm GETTING MARRIED! to a wonderful man named Kristopher!

2007-08-23T15:33:00.000-07:00

Well well well. Where to start?!?!
I believe that when i last left you i was heading home from my road trip. That was a while ago. So i must apologize for not getting around to blogging in a while.... but let me fill you in with my life!

After my return on June 27th, I went to look at a basement suite and later that day signed the papers of my very first and very own home! i felt so grown up. Later that day, I had a very special date with Kris. He took me to Cliff Falls, and even though it was raining, that didn't stop him from proposing!! that's right! if you haven't already heard it through the grapevine, i am engaged!
Later that same week I found myself candidating as the director of Children's ministries at Maple Ridge Alliance Church. Within a week, i was on board and excited to start my career.... right out of college!!! I was finding that God's blessing where a little over whelming, so it was great to have three weeks of NOTHING to do before i started work!
Within those three weeks, i was able to go on many God walks, and do much praying and reading and thinking life through. AND i was also extremely sick for a good week and a bit! (i hadn't been that sick since gr.9!!)
so now we are caught up to august 1st! that not only was the day my mom turned 29 (again) but it was also my first day of work. And now, three weeks later, i am still loving this place and adapting so well! I love the people, the love, the fellowship, the kids, the families, the opportunities, the challenges, .... everything! i just love it! We've got things set up and ready for the next year of children's ministries.... the set is ready to go, kids are registered, AWANA is getting started soon, plans for a halloween alternative are being made, a LIVE ANIMAL show is coming as an outreach event, and most nerve-racking is my interview with the Christian & Missionary Alliance of Canada. I'll keep you posted! I still have another week to freak out about it! Anyway.... i have found my home. I love it here. and God is constantly blessing me!!

Yesterday my car past her out-of-province inspection.... good old Queen Latifa! Nothing stands in her way!!

what else....??? hmmm...???

i guess that's a little update for now. hopefully i'll get better at this blogging thing and be able to keep you all posted on life here in BC for kris and I!

love love love!

2007-06-26T19:18:00.000-07:00

My time in Colorado came to an end... to fast though. I had such a great time with Amber and Jessica. They were definately the best hostesses ever! We did everything from the Garden of the Gods, to eating Chipotle and Rohas and Texas Road house and Sonic and Little Bite of Heaven... yeah i think we ate out a few times. haha. We hung out with the cutest kids ever too! Amber's sister Amy, has three kids: little Emma, and Sherry and Trevor, amber and Jess's nieces and nephew. They are adorable and definately have me excited to be an aunt one day... hint hint...
From my last blog, i left off by telling you i was heading out to the Drive-in. And yes, we did go... we saw Fantastic Four and Ocean's 13... don't bother seeing either. trust me. But we did have fun so that was good!
now, as tradition, here are some pictures i have collected over the past few days of my journeys...

Amber and I had fun driving around in the Mercedes Benz. Just after this picture a truck of really old guys came up to us and asked us if we needed to borrow a comb because our hair was getting pretty messy. They were so persistant and kinda ackward too. we just looked at each other and laughed. what else could you do??

This is one of the many drive-in photo opts... we opened up the back of Amber's truck and made a fun little bed... matt and jess and their dog ricky were in the tiniest little car, laying in the trunk. it was cute.

the next few pictures i think are of my trip this morning through Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming. It was an absoluting gorgesou day to drive through the park.... and seeing as i had next to no sleep in my car the night before, i needed to have a scenic drive to keep me alert and wide awake looking for all the HUGE animals!

This is one of the many little rivers the flow by the roads as you drive by.
This is a picture of a little stream of water flowing bown by the side of the road. Looking directly up from this stream is a huge Gehiser. This are sulphuric bubbles in the ground that have made their way to the surface and blow steam up from little pockets of water. The smell is so deadly too!

These are two pictures of the hundreds of Geishers that were everywhere in the park. They were so cool. I like to think of them as mini volcanos without the volcanic part or the mountain part... hmmm... well, i guess that doesn't leave much. but that's still what i think. ok.
A driving view...
This was the funniest thing i saw on my whole trip... going around thisHUGE cliff hang, there walking in the middle of the road is this HUGE Bison... it was as if he thought he owned the entire world. The funny part was that there was a huge line up of cars all the way backed up because of this one dumb big animal. i had my window rolled down and came about 6 feet from it's face. it was HUGE. really huge.

This is me in my new hat. This was taken yesterday while i was driving through Colorado Springs....
and this is me again driving on my way to Green River Wyoming. That is where i was going to spend the night, however when i got there the 9 hotels that i looked at staying at were all booked. although it was 9:30pm so maybe it was to late to look for a room.... so i just kept driving. and i'm glad that i did because it just added to the adventure of this whole road trip. As i was driving on my way to Jackson Wyoming, i got to see two of the most coolest things ever.... first of, i need to say that i don't think there are UFO's out there, but i did get to see something pretty cool. I think that maybe it was a shooting star, but it looked really big and moved pretty slow. I thought at first that maybe it was the space ship shuttle flying through... but it was too late to be that... so i don't know what it was, but it looked cool.... the second thing which i thought just showed the power of God even more so was seen to the WEST of the road i was driving on. The sun was setting and there was this huge darker cloud just sitting on top of the mountains, and as i drove closer, it looked like really thick smoke because the cloud wasn't really moving. the closer i got, i started to see this red glow and it kept getting closer and closer and bigger and brighter and more intense. Then i realized that i was heading towards a HUGE Forest Fire! Luckily i bypassed it but i did get to see it from afar and it was a sight that i will never forget.
mmmm. i love the mountains.

Me. and Yellowstone.

So that's a little wrap up of a bit of the past few days. Right now i am in Lethbridge Alberta heading back to Maple Ridge. I hope to be ther this time tomorrow night and that will put an offical end to my road trip. It's really a bitter sweet feeling.... i want it to end because there is a certain someone that i just have to get home to... but this is such an invigorating feeling, being on the road and just living every moment as it comes, as if there isn't a care in the world.

... I figure that since i only have one more blog to write on this road trip adventure, i thought i'd give YOU, my avide readers a chance to ask me any questions about the adventures i've been on... SO... if you want to know about the ethnic food in San Francisco, or about the hiking in redwood national park... or about whatever you thought intriging.... just ask. I'd love to answer them for you through my next blog... i'm expecting BIG things for this next blog, so get your question in... just ask me through the comments.

okay. well, i'm signing off from another long day!

cheers

2007-06-22T17:53:00.000-07:00

HELLO! one and all...
so apparently i was entirely wrong! there are way more people reading these blog entries than i knew about! so hello to you all and welcome to the journey of "just undiscovered" .... So far on this road trip i have been to 6 different states and many amazing cities! I've met some amazing people and i've had so many fun adventures that i have only ever dreamed of!
Right now i am in Colorado at my friend Amber's house! i've been hanging out with her and her sisterinlaw Jessica who is also another one of my good friends! Since being here we have gone to Garden of the Gods and seen some amazing red rocks! the view was spectacular and i took lots of pictures... so don't worry mom! that was yesterday. Today we went shopping! wooop wooop!! i might have spent some money... and by some, i mean a lot. but i got some really great clothes and amazing deals at bath and body! ohhhhh.... so good. tonight we are going to the drive in theatre!
So here are some much anticipated pictures of the journey through Nevada and Utah.
AGAIN, they were loaded backwards, so first you will see fun pictures of me and amber and jess here in colorado, then pictures of the drive through the desert and some of RENO and me gambling! so much fun!! and i might have bought some fuzzy dice!

Amber, me and Jess at Garden of the Gods... it was so incredibly gorgeous!!

yup. we're sitting underneath a rock... and the other pic is of the view driving by!

and a picture of the view from the side mirror

now for the drive:

singing through the dessert! so long and boring! went through all of my CD's i'm sure of it!
boring desert!
beautiful, but still boring....
BACK IN COLORADO! playing with the statues!
Garden of the Gods again... oh and afer we went there we went to this mexican restaurant for lunch and it was so entirely intense ust ordering your foodo that the people there all started laughing at me because i was so intense

the drive...
RENO!! i might have gambled a little... and won nothing... but bought some fuzzy dice...

and now, for all of you, my friends... this is a toilet in the desert... a little out house, just like you would see it in the movies! it was amazing... and in the middle of nowhere. Never again will i say that Granton is the middle of nowhere.... because this definatley was... oh and it was 105 degrees out that day. which equals death in a car with no air!

bye for now...

2007-06-17T21:03:00.000-07:00

This blog i have entitled "the self portraits of a road tripper". When you are by yourself and having to take your own photos... you have a lot of these type of pics. so i thought i would share them with you and let you all see that i am alive and well and enjoying myself.

this photo on your left is of my first reaction coming over the mountain and through the tunnel looking at the golden gate bridge in all it's beauty!
the "i think i took a wrong turn somewheres" look. ... verses the "i'm sitting on the beach looking out over the OCEAN" look!

City Amanda, meet Sunset Amanda!

Hello crazy hair!

Contemplating the beauty of it all...
THUMBS UP! i'm at a water front harbour!and now i am standing in the water while i'm hiking through Fern Canyon! man alive that was cold water!
FERN CANYON... if only i could have captured the drive to Gull Beach and Fern Canyon... it was the craziest and coolest road i have ever traveled in my life.

PACIFIC CITY! in the rain... dancing on the beach... without a care in the world.
It was really rainy.
It wasn't so rainy here though...
not really sure what i am looking at here but this was while i was on a hike up to see a fun little water falls. it was gorgeous... and cold.
And thus ends this blog write up... with me driving in queen latifa. Tomorrow i will be starting a new adventure as i leave San Francisco and head on to RENO! i'm pretty stoked and apparently according to the momma i HAVE TO gamble 20$! so i'm stoked about that too...
Oh i guess i should tell you all what i did today. i didn't just go and take all these self portrai pictures! My camera battery has died on me and i haven't recharged it yet so i didn't have photos from today to put on this blog.... hence, the recap of past adventures.... But today i did have many adventures! i decided that i wanted to go down to china town, however i ended up taking the long way and went through Market Square and then through Union Square and back around through Yerba Buena Gardens where there was a huge music festival going on .... It felt like i was in victoria prak, although WAY more beautiful... right downtown surrounded by a bunch of tall fancy buildings and really old churches. I sat and listened to some Native American music and drank a Strawberry and Creme Frapp. from starbucks... which, bytheway, they ARE on every street corner! After the music I went on another long walk, through downtown and i got to see the HUGEST buildings and very interestingly designed artsy buildings. ANd i walked by the SFFD and saw huge firetrucks... mind you, i could here them everyday at least three or four times driving up and down the streets. So when i finally got to china town, i realized that i couldn't understand anything that was going on around me nor could i read any of the signs and every was my height... so i kinda fit in, but completely NOT. so i left. and then i returned back here to the hostel around 6ish after being out and walking for about 8 hours. but NO blisters this time! woop woop!!

okay, well... i think i'm going to go for a smoothie with some of the girls here... maybe, if they are still awake.

take care everyone who reads this... which apparently is only about two people. so I love you both and good night!

2007-06-16T20:32:00.000-07:00

HELLO! i'm still in san francisco! and today i had a dream come true! all i kept thinking was... I'm going to see where Danny Tannor use to live! haha. and if you understand that then you know just how excited i am!/was today when i walked down 'postcard row'! These are the places used in so many videos and television shows!
yesteday when i was at Union Square going in and out of all the fancy shops... like Channel, Gorgio Armania, Ralph Lauren, Gucci... and my all time favorite, Virgin Records! they were having the biggest sale ever! i held back... don't worry Kris, i didn't buy anymore DVDs. but i did buy a CD. ha. oh... i forgot. my story. While in Union Square there was this dressed up big huge squirrel walking around and a bunch of cameras videoing taping peoples reactions to seeing him. anyways. it was weird and pretty cool.
anyways, so today i got to see this beautiful sight....

this is just ONE of the many photos i took!
and this is me. in Alamo Square looking on to Post Card Row!

These pictures are from yesterday... when i was down town in union sqaure.
yup. i was standing in the middle of the road to get this picture.
it was cray busy everywhere! so many people.
and a cello guy just playing at this little restaurant ona side street that i found myself on.

so i offically have one more full day here in san francisco before i head out to Colorado! I've met some great people here too and i'm excited to stay in touch with them! It's fun staying in this hostel environment. I love just sitting here and listening to about four different languages, and watching two girls from ireland trying to do a puzzle. and there are non-stop people going to and from in every which direction. ... anyway... i'm having fun.

2007-06-14T19:01:00.000-07:00

another long day... so many stories to tell... but as the crazy lady said on the corner two blocks away "i say funny things so people think i'm crazy and leave me alone"... i don't want yuo to think i'm crazy, so i will leave you to these pictures and the stories of their existence. *note to my avid readers: these pictures are in the wrong order... i'm starting with the last and finishing with the first, just to throw you off.!! *
These are the seal lions that bark like dogs thinking that everyone is paying attention to them... and quite frankly, everyone is paying attention to them, for some odd reason. but they really are cool things to watch in the water.

This is Pier 39! this is where i spent most of the day. There are many piers all along the San Francisco Bay. About 60 i think. This Pier is located in the heart of Fishersmans Wharf, which is, as you can guess, fishermans alley. But it is very touristy and very busy too!
In Pier 39 there are many things to do, many shops to explore and much food to try! One o the things i did was go into the Aquarium Bay! it's an aquarium that is attached to the San Fran Bay and they have big fish, small fish, octapie, sharks, weird coral things, jelly fish, ells... all sorts of stuff. It was really quite amazing too!
These are the cool jelly fish things. i couldn't get over how big they actually were... an there were some baby ones that were no bigger than my pinky fingernail!
this is a fun little map that helps me find everything. if you can see the green box that i have traced with blue pen sort of in the mid lower left hand side... if you follow that across, over the center of the page and then up about four blocks, that's where i'm staying. and i walked from there to he top of the page... which is Fishermans Wharf and all the Piers. The green box that i did trace is where postcard Row is. that is that famous spot of the houses that is commonly seen in Full House. it's called Alamzo (i think) Park. I'm going there tomorrow afternoon i think.

This i me and the bridge!!! WOOP WOOP!! i took a fun boat ride tour right under the bridge and all around Alcataz! it was unbelievable! Apparently they only get about 10 clear perfect days like they had today ALL summer! usually from this spot, the fog would just be clearing and you might be able to see a bit of the bridge! Did you know that more water flows under the Golden Gate Bridge in a day than the amount of water that is in the Mississippi River!?!?! that's what i learnt today!
ALCATRAZ! the water tower on top there was used for water... they apparently tried to drill for years for clean water but only ever got salt water. THe prisoners that stayed on Alcatraz that had Kids would be able to keep their kids with them and the kids would be able to go to school too.... by boat they would travel to the main land and learn and be educated.the building on the right of the pic, was used as a work building making rugs and shirts and things like that that kept the prisioners working and earning a bit of money. the big smoke stack is attached to the bakery... aroudn the side are older buildings that have lost most of their structure... those are the buildings that the guards and their families lived in.
San Francisco Skyline.

This boat ... Called the "JEREMIAH" was used to film most of the above deck and underdeck shots in the movie TITANIC! ... i thought that was cool!
This was my lunch. i couldn't go to fishermans wharf without eating any fish... so this is deepfried shrimp and chips. it was okay. everything else looked to lifelike for me to eat.

This was on my walk TO fishermans Wharf... remember, evrything is in reverse order. This picture is of the "most curviest road in the world" you are probably wondering what i'm talking about becaus eyou see that straight path on the side there... but this road is lined with hedges, and it is just a one way road, going down... it was a beautiful sight... the cable cars drive right by here too and it is a famous spot for sighting famous people apparently ... but i didn't see any.
this is me and the curviest road.
the not so curviest road. but a very steep hilly road. i was soooooooo entrely sore from walking back up these hills... i still am sore. but it was beautiful and completely worth it.
this picture is out of order. sorry. this is back on the boat ride tour... these on the old army barricks that the big huge war ships would dock at and unload people or pick up people... a lot of slave trade happened here too apparently.
one of my favorite pics yet. I still can't get over how clear the weather was today! a picture like this is rare apparently because there are never clear enough days to capture the bridge in it's entirity.

op. well, it looks like that is all the pictures i have downloaded... although i have taken close to 800 pictures now!! there's something about capturing the moment and being able to remember everything when looking at a photo. i love it!

well, it is almost 8pm and my feet are about to fall off... i'm going to head down to the kitchen and make myself some kraft dinner. i love this hostel life style. it's like there are 50 people living in one big house. and it's a very multicultural house. flags everywhere, different languages being spoken around every corner... my roommates are from Finland, Korea, and England. anwyays...

that's all for now.

2007-06-13T18:26:00.000-07:00

I am sitting in the lounge. I look around me and i see many different flags hanging from the ceiling and words in different languages all around me. and yet i am the only person in this room that is so full of diversity and authenticity. it's just me. sitting here, staring out the window at the corner of Ellis and Larkin. I discovered today that if you walk down Ellis for about three blocks you will find a community of homeless black people who are sleeping. If you walk a bit further you will find Market Square which is the place to be. Kinda like the Kensington Market of Toronto, but better, obviously. I found out that is it at Market Square tha tyou can catch the famous train cars, however the line up to get on them is over an hour long. it will be an adventure i will have, just not today.

The hostel i am at is cleaner and more homey then any of the hotel/motels i've been at thus far. The people i have met are great too. Paul and Katie are British and they are stayin guntil monday as well... Kate, another girl, is staying in the room with me and is Irish. She was worried about having tan lines for her sisters wedding. ...

Now for the story of how i got here... the GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE!!This is one of the train cars i saw at Market Square. I'm sure i will be seeing more of them in the next few days.

So this is all i have for now. My head is hurting from the loud noises of the city and the strange smells all around. so before i passout, i think i will lay down for a bit.

2007-06-13T17:47:00.000-07:00

**this is a warning... it will take you a while to get through this blog post.**

Seeing as i didn't have access to internet yesteryday I am behind a day in telling you of the adventures i have had!! yesterday was my busiest day!! the dravie i was to take was suppose to take only 2 hours (much like the day before) but it ended up taking me almost 9 hours! ha!! now, let me say this: i didn't drive for those 9 hours...

so let's start with the morning and the amazing Crescent City Harbour... while i was there i also saw a seal playing in the water AND a boat called 'the Amanda' ...

Next on my journey was the entering of the REDWOOD NATIONAL PARK! at the sign there i met a very nice couple, Don and Wendy that were on their way up to Portland. They didn't know anything about canada but i changed that! they also had trouble pronouciating the province 'saskatchewan'...

YUP. this is Paul Bunyun and his Blue Ox. They were right in the middle of the park. so i took a picture.

Driving down the windy twisty road for hours and seeing these huge tall trees... i wish there was a word to describe them! they were so incredibly tall and there were so many of them.

after driving up and down these windy roads for what seemed like hours i decided to take a little detour to a beach and see what i could find. LOW AND BEHOLD i end up entering GOLD BLUFFS Beach were there is the famous FERN CANYON. so i decided to check it out. The drive to get there was worth the trip alone... through creeks, on dirt roads for ever around tight curves, praying no one is coming the other way... having to have my headlights on at 2pm because of the caves you are driving in and out of. simply breathtaking. ... fren canyon, once i got there... was amazing too... i had to walk through the creek most of the way to get into the heart of this canyon and it was soo cold, but totally worth it.

this is the entrance to the park. this is looking into Fern Canyon.

Last night, once i made it through the TREE... yes, i drove through a tree... good thing my car is small. i took some pictures but they they didn't turn out very good. sorry. So, after i drove through the tree, i ended up in Fort Bragg where i spent the night. I took a walk down to the beach there and watched the most amazing sunset ever!! This isn't a picture of me... it was a girl i met who loved being my model for a few minutes!

basically, went the sun went down, so did i. I had time to think over the day and as i tried to reflect on everything i saw and the beauty of it all, i was too overwhlemed to comprehend anything really. it was a weird feeling... still is. kinda like floating on a cloud... not really knowing what to think, other than God is good.

2007-06-11T20:40:00.000-07:00

what i have discovered today:
... driftwood may come with many small spiders living inside.
... stalling your car on a steep hill isn't the way to make a quite entry
... baby goats MAY be inclined to pee on strangers holding them
... an elk head that sin't mounted on a wall really does look real!
... listening to 'Prince Caspian' and then going for a hike really leaves your mind wandering
... coastal wind defeats the life purpose of hair spray
... cheap can openers break! and leave you with a half opened can of tuna sitting in a hot car.
... i don't really like tuna.
... it's nice to not talk for hours on end
... i can leave my car without my camera... really, i can!

today was a great day. beautiful ... sunny.... a two hours drive eneded up taking me 5 and a half hours. let's just say there were maybe sites to see and i am even still wishing that i would've stopped more! driving around some of these bends i am just left in awe of all i see. nothing i have ever seen is quite as beautiful as the water crashing on the sandy beaches, the huge rocks on the shoreline and the amazing white caps that go on for ever! i love being amazed at how big God is and how little i am. and yet, he has a purpose for each day of my life. hmmm.

this was taken a few days ago at Acadia Beach... experiencing the coast without rain was something new to me today... so i thought i would reflect on my past rainy experience.

HUMBUG trail

looking out over the OCEAN!

This morning 7MILES past Bandon i went to the largest game park safari in the states. It was so amazing to see some of these animals! Leopards, Tigers, Lynx, Bears, Lamas, four horned Sheep, Chimps, Peacocks, Camels, Zebras, Hogs, Elk, Deer, Goats, random Donkeys! It was cool... i tried not to think about these animals being locked up in cages and not out in the wild where they were created to be.

CHIMPANZEE

white Beagal Tiger from India

african tiger

african leopard .... he was my favorite.

2007-06-10T21:46:00.000-07:00

This is Arcadia beach... i've never felt such wind before

This was this morning at Munson Falls

This was this afternoon walking along the beach at Pacific City, before a tackled a few waves myself

these are the left over peices of crab

trying to capture the beauty of a single rain drop

an outlook... trying to change my own perspective

a view from a flower

God's greatest creations ... water and toes and sand

"... just undiscovered."

This is my road trip. This is me ... just undiscovered. You could say i'm on ths open road to discover who i am. you could say i'm taking this adventure to clear my head. you could even say that i am running away. these are all very true statements that boil down to one thing "...just undiscovered."

Today was the fourth day of my journey to find what is undiscovered. I start in Maple Ridge British Columbia and now i am in Bandon, Oregon. So far i have hiked through Magnison Park, I have slept on a couch, I have been reunited with friends, I have been rained on, I have taken many photos, I have cooked steak in a hotel room, I have listened to four books in the Chronicles of Narina series, I have swam in the Ocean, I have gotten only four blisters, I have written 6 post cards, I have ran along to ocean banks, climbed the rocks of Pacific City, seen water falls, and i have danced in awe of my Creator, I have sang to prise my God, i have prayed for God's grace and received what i do not deserve, i have sought for answers and i have been silenced and told to listen.

to listen. and then to listen.

it's nice having no one around to talk to, or to have talking to me. i hear the ocean waves crashing against each other. i hear the sand making friction between my toes. i hear the road falling on my rain jacket. I feel the coldness of the rain drops on my hands, my face, and my toes. I feel the wind blowing on my face, at times pushig my whole body against the wind allowing me to lean fully on the breeze of God against all that i am. this reminds me that i must keep leaning on God, allowing for his strenght to hold me up.

While I am listening i am also questioning what it is i need to "discover".... or rather what it is that is "...just undiscovered". There are the deep questions that will always keep my heart searching ... who am i? what is my purpose? ... and then there are the questions that need answers to be discovered. Am i where i am suppose to be in my life? what am i to do with my knowledge of Africa now? How can i express the passions of my heart? ... this is why am i listening.

2007-06-10T21:44:00.000-07:00

This is a movie that Jenn made of our trip to Uganda Africa. I have only been able to watch it once because it is all so very fresh in my heart. Every picture tells a story and every face has a name. I am a witness to this. please watch with waution because this will move your heart to want to love these children.

2007-05-26T05:43:00.000-07:00

As I readjust to the blessing of this Canadian culture, I am constantly thinking over my past month in Uganda Africa. Where to begin? There are so many stories and so many amazing moments that I feel I would keep you for hours if I were to share of all the people who touched my heart. First though I will start by mentioning Paul and Anita Bertrand. Our mission team, consisting of four girls, arrived in Kampala Uganda on April 30th and were warmly greeted by Paul. It took less than a day before we nick-named Anita ‘mamanita’ and Paul ‘papaul’. Their kindness and generosity, their ministry and their passion were so evident while we stayed with them and traveled with them. They too send their ‘hellos’.
For our first two weeks we were in Northern Uganda in an IDP camp for Internally Displaced People called Padeh. The people of Padeh have all been affected by the insecurity that the LRA rebels have brought throughout Northern Uganda. Padeh has acted as a safe camp for over 16 000 people for about 6 years. It has only been the last two years that there has been a cease-fire peace treaty within all Uganda, which has allowed for NGO’s (non-government organizations) and missions groups like Emmanuel International to help these displaced families regain a bit of dignity and live in peace.
Working alongside Paul and Anita and their Ugandan Emmanuel International Representative Reverend Kenneth, our team met with the seven people groups represented within Padeh. We heard stories from the widows who have lost not only there husbands but also many of there children and are now left to raise their grandchildren alone. We heard from the elderly within the community along with the children in the community who don’t know how to live in peace because neither groups have ever seen it. Meeting with the returnees from the bush was the most intense day of all. 19 young men and women came out to share with us their stories of abduction, living in the bush, fighting as a rebel, surviving the beatings, and escaping with wounds that can never fully heal. We also meet with those living with HIV/AIDS and learnt how the devastation of this disease if taking over families and killing over 25% of Ugandan life.
We had the opportunity to visit some of the disabled and widows as well and pray with them. I was welcomed into the hut of Sulena Odoyk. She is a widow. Lost her husband to the rebels, and two of her children were taken as well and have not been heard from since. Her other two children have both died of AIDS, leaving her to single-handedly raise 7 grandkids on her own. All of her grandkids are living with HIV and have been working in the gardens since they were born. Sulena made a lasting impression on heart. She had very little to offer her sick grandchildren and yet she still had a smile on her face. She had lost those most precious to her and her hope was in the Lord. She told me that I was the first white person that has ever come into her house and that by being there it meant that God was watching her. Her face lit up with hope and peace. I will never forget her.
For two days our team ran a kids camp with over 300 kids! 4 leaders, two interpreters and 300+ kids! Needless to say, it was a stretch of creativity that kept them alert and attentive to hearing God’s word and responding very passionately through song and craft. For two other days we also ran a youth retreat with kids 14-20. This was an interesting time of not only sharing God’s word but also answering many questions regarding Canada and my life here. It was on our lunch break, eating ‘beans and poashow’ that the guys started asking the tough questions like “what is marriage like in Canada? How many wives can a man take? What kind of dowry would someone have to offer for you to become a wife?” As we were telling them about the traditional dating, engaged and married stages of life in our western culture, one of the boys stood up and asked: “So if I was to give you a ring you are saying that you will love me forever?” the next day he apologized for not having enough shillings to by me a ring but wanted to know if I really needed one to marry him!!
Another day we spent doing eye clinics and wound dressing clinics. It was here that we met Joseph, Kathy and Moses. This family of siblings had just lost there father to AIDS and their mother who has HIV, works in the field night and day so that she can send her kids to school. Kathy, when she was 12 was abducted and taken into the bush for three months. She told her abducters “In the name of Jesus Christ nothing bad will happen to me” and nothing bad ever did happen to her. Her and her brothers are very smart and well educated. We were able to give them each a bible of their own and when they received it they were overjoyed!!
Throughout our two week stay there I would have to say that the most influential time was hearing the stories and getting to know the hearts of those who had escaped from the bush. Sara is 24 years old and has been out of the bush for only 2 years after being held captive for over 10 years! She was given to any man, had a son while being a high commander and training other children for war. Joseph is a 22 year old man who was shot seven times and thought to be dead by the soldiers. After three years in the bush, and being left for dead Joseph still had the hope and courage to drag himself through the bush and found help. He now lives very painfully with open wounds and bullets still in him, 4 years later. Both Sara and Joseph have been blessed by the extra donations I received for this missions trip. Joseph is now in a hospital being taken care of properly so that when he returns he has the ability to work and support himself. Sara has been given a piece of land to garden and plant her livelihood in. She will be given the proper training and seeds and tools for a full year of use. There have also been many widows and orphans that have been given acres of land to garden, tools and proper education to care for their land. There is also a camp that we visited and were moved by their hope in God and their need for basic gardening tools, seeds, clean water and better education. With the extra raised support money we brought over we were able to help an entire town of 1500 families in their gardens and in their homes!

Another huge part of our time in Padeh and in Kampala was spent in handing out Operation Christmas Child Shoe Boxes. In villages where kids were learning in a Sunday school setting we brought over 200 shoe boxes to hand out and open with these children! It was amazing to watch the smiles on the faces of children who had never been given anything in their life. They never owned anything new, never seen a bar of soap, never tasted sweets before, never knew what a toothbrush was let alone tooth paste! It was fun being able to show these kids how to play with their new toys and how to brush their teeth properly. Basic things that we take for granted! Back in Kampala Anita put us to work in helping her plan and run a Sunday School Teachers Conference. We were each given a classroom full of eager adults ready to learn how to teach kids. A lot of these people were pastors, teachers or from local NGO’s and wanted more training. It was an experience I will never forget: Teaching Teachers how to Teach!
I wish I could tell you more of how God worked in amazing ways and proved himself faithful to our prayers and your prayers! Thank you for your support and your prayers throughout this past month. God has been glorified and his Kingdom has been preached! Hope has been given, Hope has been received and Hope has given life.
Blessings on you all!

2007-03-30T21:15:00.000-07:00

to breathe is to imagine, to imagine is to dream, to dream is to live and to live is to love

xo amanda

i took a fun little walk today with my favorite person, Kris and my favorite toy, my camera! I thought i would share some of my photos.

2007-03-27T21:17:00.000-07:00

a RE-introduction to ME:
it's been a while... change has definately happened. the world has rotated, the tides have gone out, the snow has melted, and somehow returned. I've turned another year older, closer to becoming a grownup! school is almost finished, graduation is unbelievably closeby, and papers still need to be written. hair has become darker, and braid extentions are my latest fashion. friends have become sisters, a boy has become my man... and as much as the world around me has changed, i still remain 5 feet tall, carrying around the one thing i know that will never change: the True Word of God.

The insight of the day:
tonight at b.s. (short form for bible study) we talked about worship. how do we worship God in awe and reverance? why are we a people so distracted by our distractions that we mentally can not come to a place of worship? how far have we come from meeting the true God? am i to lift my hands or bow my heart? why am i at the center of my worship time with God? worship has nothing to do with me, right? why do we place a time limit on our worship time and experiences with God? if he doesn't satisfy how we desire, why do we turn in discouragement? asking God a question requires that we be ready to accept the answer... As long as i have been pursuing a deeper committment to my Lord, i have struggled with the reality of what true worship is. this tension of who God is, a HOLY and reverant God, who does not need our worship but gives us the opportunity to worship him so we maybe be able to express our gratitude and humble thankfulness for his grace on our lives. i know for a fact that we do not take advantage of our freedom to worship God... do we even take advantage of our freedom to sing out loud? to raise our hands? to bow our knees in prayer?... when was the last time YOU prayed to God on your knees, begging him to hear your voice? worship is not all about lovey dovey things of who God is... it is about the struggle to meet God, to be with him, to marvel in his glory and to except the things he places before you, whether impossible, or impassable.
what is worship? .... good question.

we shall know what worship is when it is all we do
Amen.

2006-11-02T15:29:00.000-08:00

A Prayer to the Potter
This is my prayer to You, will you turn you ear and listen to my words? I am not worthy enough to even address you as friend, but I NEED to come to you with my heart! It is heavy and bowed down low to thank you for bringing me to this place of security; for blessing me on the journey; for healing my heart and bring joy back into my life. Lord you are so Holy. I am unable to offer you th worship you deserve. Who am I to come to you and ask of you simple things that are of no worth compared to your sustaining the stars, bringing death to life, giving every breathe, growing every child, blessing every tear? I am but a sinner. Lost without your care. Seeking forgiveness, healing, and peace. I know that you and you alone can give me all I need ... even more than what i know! In your majesty and splendor you take a hold my hand, grab my heart and provide more love and blessings for me than i'll ever be able to grasp! Please Lord, in your kindness will you listen to my prayer? will you guide this heart ... it's just me ... all of me. For you. Please Lord, do not turn away! Bless me! Lead me! Show me the pathway, even as broken as i have made it ... grant me your love andhumble me before you lord and continue to he the Potter of this dirty piece of clay.

2006-10-18T21:33:00.000-07:00

observing from afar is like being on center stage sometimes. it's why i stand on a chair... to get a new perspective on life. probably subconsciously because i need to look at things differently. and the fact that i need to look at things differently means that i should really find a higher chair. at least that's what i feel somedays. i think it's quite funny though how i end up on these chairs,and observing things for a different perspective without even knowing it.it's those times, when i see things for what they really are. a new perspective is nice. i like it.

2006-10-06T21:59:00.000-07:00

as it turns out, i guess i'm a bad judge of character. i thought he was the one... that special person who makes my heart skip a beat, my stomach to flip, my hands to shake. well, he was that person. i just don't know what happened. you think you know someone and then the give up, throw the towel in and leave you with that blank look on your face. And all for what? a lame-o excuse that means squat! how about we grow some feelings and tell me the truth! WHY!?! one day we're talking about marriage and our future together ...then the next day everything changes! why?! am i not worthy op at least a better explanation? we haven't even ever fought... and you're saying that you forsee us fighting all the time so we should just throw out the baby with the bath water?!? what are you running from? of course everyone is scared! if you weren't scared i'd be worried. it's okay! i just want to hear the truth ... whether i can handle it or not, i just want the truth please!! i know taht we are so completely different. That's what i love! opposites do attract ... me and you ... i miss you. i'm not sure what to feel anymore. abandoned? hopeless? forgotten about? unworthy of your love? what i do know is that i feel sad because i don't have you here anymore. it's like there's something missing from life. everyone i see,everything i do, i'm always reminded of you. i wish i knew if you miss me too. i'm so tired of wishing for your hand in mine... i can't give up though. not without a fight. are you going to fight? fight for love, the real deal... fight for me? no? should i fight for you? i wish i was wanted. wanted in your arms. please. come back. i miss you.

2006-10-03T14:43:00.000-07:00

love my girls ...

2006-10-01T19:09:00.000-07:00

the pathway is broken, the signs are unclear, and i don't know the reasons why you brought me here. but just because you love me the way that you do i'm going walk through the valley if you want me to.

no i'm not who i was when i took the first step, and i'm clinging to the promise you're not through with me yet. so if all of these trials bring me closer to you then i will walk through the fire if you want me to.

and it may not be the way i would've chosen when you lead me through a world
that's not my home but you never said it would be easy, you only said i'd never
go alone.

so when the whole world turns against me and i'm all by myself, and i can't hear you answer my cries for help. i'll remember the suffering that true love put you through and i'll walk through the darkness if you want me to.

so when i corss over Jordan i'm gonna sing i'm gonna shout, i'm gonna look into your eyes and see you never let me down. so take me on the pathway that leads me home to you and i will walk through the vally if you want me to.

2006-09-19T22:59:00.000-07:00

i'm trying to make sense of life, the non-chalant hellos and the agressive goodbyes...but what exactly is it that i'm saying these hellos and goodbyes to? Here's where my dilemma gets started.
What happens when what you thought you knew to be true, right, the path God chose for you ... what happens when he changes it? now you must understand that it's a great change! definately different, but none the less, it's a change. Why i wonder, did God give such a passion, a true calling and understanding of his will, and yet almost within the same breath, he takes it away.
Maybe there's a reason. well, obviously right?! posssibly the passion and desires he gave me where only for that season of life, a passion to get me through that season... perhaps it was a passion that was the driving force for others. Maybe God has been using me 'here' to plant seeds 'out there'.
one thing is for sure. I am content.
content.
content.
i like that word.
I'm learning more and more that God's ways of working and answering praying are so much higher than my ways. isn't it funny how we expect God's answers to our prayers to be the answers we expect? or the answers that benefit us?! i've been learning that God answers our prayers, in his time, and they are usually answered in his creative way... as to show his power reigning over my life! oh! i'm so glad i serve him!!
"Lord help me be the one you're making me"

2006-09-18T22:45:00.000-07:00

lost in praise, fighting for the light, praying for eyes to see the path,
watching for the Wonder to grab my hand,
passing by closed doors,
listening to the voice of reason, singing against the dark skies, searching for an understanding mind,
thinking what the future holds, grabbing onto you with both hands,
crying through misunderstanding,
breathing in new air, seeing the light grow stronger, reaching up for a higher love,
resting in peace,
knowing the truth,
loving the moment,
caring for only you.

i know i'm called to something greater than I am, greater than what i ever imagined possible. can i do it? i really don't know, but the fact remains that i must. In essence, it's what i am, who i am, who i was made to be. it almost seems painless right now, but my heart feels the anticipation of something greater, more fulfilling, a calling that is not for everyone, a mission made just for me. My heart isn't ready, my mind is still to fresh. My thoughts seem uncontroled and i feel... captivated.

2006-09-16T17:41:00.000-07:00

As far as i can see, to be loved is to be beautiful. We may be told time and time again that we are beautiful ... but it gets old, dull and boring. Not that i'm conceited and know that i'm beautiful... by no means is that what i'm trying to portray! But when someone is told something as precious as "you are beautiful" so many times, in many no chalant ways, the meaning is lost! and it just becomes words that are lost.
I am learning that when i feel most beautiful is when i know beyond a shadow of a doubt that i am loved. and love comes in more forms than just words... love is an action! Love is a back rub, love is a shoulder to sleep on, love is a warm hand to hold, love is a bouquet of flowers, love is a look of innocence, love is brighter than all the stars, love is stronger then any lightning bolt ... love conquers fears by facing them and fighting them ... love is a sweet kiss on the cheek, a note found under my pillow, a surprise date, a strong embrace, love is a prayer spoken by two, love answers all questions. when i feel loved, i know i'm beautiful

and to know you're beautiful is the greatest wonder of them all because it is true love!